An Exchange

Bible at the Bedside

There was a time when I read the bible for fun. I went to Church on Wednesday nights, sang

I may never march in the infantry

ride in the calvary

shoot the artilley

I may never zoom o’er  the enemy

But I’m in the Lord’s army

Yes sir!

I roughy thumbed the pages of my bible in hopes of finding a passage fast enough for bible drills when I was in Christian school. I prayed fervently most nights for god to help me stop being such a sinner, to not be a burden.

I think about those times often. When I get into bed without my knees touching the floor first and when I receive food and I catch myself wanting to mumble something into the air. I catch myself before I start praying. When something happens to me, I now often say the “the Universe is teaching me…” and not “God.”

However, discontinuing these practices have not stopped me from being unkind to myself. The way I have look at myself, the way I have talked to myself at times—curses in exchange for prayers.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21